HAS THE VOCAB

Dear Spike:

You're a talkative little girl. I suppose you take after you dad in that way.

Just to be sure you don't take after your dad (who did time in the Navy and has the vocab to prove it) in other ways, your mother and I are on a no-swearing campaign. And let me tell you, it's fucking hard.

Oops.

So far, at least, our vow against cursing in your presence seems to be working. You probably know 50 words now — and not one of them will get you sent to the principal's office.

As you'll hear from me many times, there is a time and a place for everything — ever cussin'.

But the truth is, most of us swear far more than we need to. And curse words are mostly laziness disguised as edginess.

The language we've inherited from our ancestors can be quite a pretty thing. And ne'er have I head it prettier spoken than when it is spoken by you.

You know enough of your body parts now for a good old fashioned game of Simon Says. Starting with the chickens in our backyard, you've added quite a few farm animals to your vocabulary. And thanks to our family pass for the Salt Lake City Zoo, you know the names of a few more exotic animals, too.

You know "up" and "down." And "peek-a-boo." And because you have a really bad habit of picking things up off the ground and stuffing them into your mouth, you also know the word "yuck."

You know your name. And your mom's. And once in a while, you say my name, too (though mostly, these days, you just want your mother.)

And this week, a breakthrough of magnificent proportions: You know the word "potty." Oh thank you, dear God, you know the word "potty."

Moreover, you're using it in the future tense. As in "I need to go," not "I just went."

Funny thing, that a word like "potty" could sound so pretty. But it does. Yes it does.

Our language is lovely in that way. In proper context, even the most scatalogical of words can sound quite beautiful.

Which is why I won't tell you that you cannot use any of the words that George Carlin, heaven bless his sinful soul, made famous with his "Seven words you can never say on television" schtick.

But yes, there's a time and a place for everything. And if you're uncertain whether you've come upon that time and place, you might just want to keep it clean.

Love,
dad