YOU ARE ABLE

Dear Spike:

I've just returned home from my indoor soccer game, one in which the team on which I play lost 10-1 (in this league, we stop counting after 10, so it was really more like 16 or maybe 17 to 1.)

I suppose there is a lesson here in playing the game to have fun, or maybe in how to be a gracious loser just as you would be a gracious winner. Indeed, I intend to teach you all these things in time.

But at the moment, all I can think about is one play in the game. I took the ball deep in our side of the field on a pass from our goalkeeper, pushed down the middle of the pitch, past several defenders and, rather suddenly, found myself in a one-on-one situation with the opposing team's keeper.

I shot. And missed wide.

There's a metaphor here, one that touches upon a problem I've had all my life.

I start with grandeur. With bravado and courage and skill. With promise. But I have trouble finishing things. When it comes ot the end of the race. When it comes to the last chapter of the book. When it comes to taking a shot on the goal. I pull back. I give up. I miss.

One of the benefits of starting things well is that, even if you don't finish what you set out to do, you may have exceeded the expectations of others. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. The same can be said of success.

Those looking on may never know you didn't finish what you set out to accomplish.

But you will know.

Spike, I do not want you to strive to live up to my expectations. If you live a good life, if you treat others well, you will have met my expectations. I'm simple that way. You will be loved. Unconditionally. And forever.

And I do not want you to live up to the expectations of others. As humans, our expectations of one another are unfailingly low — that is why it hurts so much when we are wronged, for it is not difficult to be good to one another.

I am not asking that you expect more of yourself than you are able to give — only that you expect the best out of yourself, that you strive to meet your potential and that you don't hold back for the ease of meeting an easier, but still respectable, standard.

Strive. Fight. Finish.

If the ball sails wide, so be it. You will know you took the best shot you could.

Love,
dad