RULES FOR FRIENDSHIP

Dear Spike:



My friend Tom and his wife just returned from China with their new daughter. Donna is a beautiful girl, with an adorable button nose and cute puffy cheeks. She is about a year and a half older than you are, but I hope you will become friends.



Just down the road, Scott and Lesli are hoping their baby, Miles...











and his sister, Zoe, also will be friends with you.








And a little further away, but still close at heart, are your cousins Jay and Brett (the latter of whom who is due to join us just a few weeks after you come.) We’re planning to introduce all of you in early July. And I’m hoping you’ll become close friends with them, as well.

With the exception of the one you pick to be your spouse, you won’t get to pick the members of your family. You’re stuck with me and your mom and your grandparents. If you end up having siblings, you’ll be stuck with them. And someday when you have children of your own, you’ll be stuck with them as well.

Friends are different. Some, like Donna, Miles and Zoe, you’ll get by circumstance. Some, like Jay and Brett and the rest of your cousins, you’ll find through your extended family. And some you’ll pick up along the way at school or work, on sports teams or through shared interests.

And unlike your immediate family members, you’re not stuck with them at all. That makes them very special, because you choose to share your journey with them.

They also get to choose to share their journeys with you. And that makes it important for you to learn to be a good friend.

To that end, a few simple rules for friendship:

Be open. Never ignore the possibility that anyone — no matter how different — might become a friend. Never give up the possibility that a friend — no matter how far you’ve drifted apart — may become a friend again.

Be honest and loyal. Never say an ill word about an absent friend unless you are prepared to say the same thing when they are present. Never let a few ill words ruin an otherwise good friendship.

Be understanding. Let differences in religion, culture, class, color and politics be a reason for friendship.

Be a good listener. Never forget that there are two people involved in every friendship.

And perhaps most importantly, be yourself. A friend doesn’t need you to be anything else.

Love,
dad