Dear Spike:
My friend Steve sent us a photo of his daughter, Emma, riding a horse. It was her first lesson, but she looked perfectly poised — as though she’s been riding forever.
It seems Emma had gotten it into her mind that she would like to learn to ride and told her parents so. Steve must have panicked a little, because while he’s the kind of dad who encourages his kids to try new things, horse-riding lessons are pretty expensive.
And so he made her a deal: They’d split the cost.
Instead of asking for presents for her eighth birthday, Emma let everyone know that she wanted to take a few riding lessons. When all was said and done, she had collected about $200 — which, along with her parent’s matching contribution, will pay for about 15 lessons. Steve couldn’t have been prouder. In addition to getting to watch his little girl ride, he knows that she’s invested in this activity and values her practice time all the more.
In this world, we live a life of relative luxury. We do not want for food or clothing. We have a wonderful home and two running vehicles. We attend sporting events and movies. We have season passes to the zoo and aviary. We eat out once a week (and sometimes more than that.) Occasionally, we even get to the opera or take in a play at the Eccles Theater.
So when the time comes that you decide that you want to take up horseback riding, or dirtbike racing or ski jumping, you might not at first understand if I am hesitant to agree.
As much as I want you to have a wide variety of experiences and a vast array of exciting activities, I want you also to learn the value of a hard day’s play. And I’m not so sure that, when things are simply given to us, we really appreciate them all that much.
I remember in high school there was a boy named Daniel whose parents gave him, for his 16th birthday, a new Ford Mustang.
At 16 years and one day old, he crashed it.
And so they got him a new one.
And he crashed that one, too.
You will never want for food or clothing (the kind designed to keep you warm and modest, not the kind designed to impress people with fancy labels.) You will never want for an education. You will never want for medicine. And you will never want for our love.
But when you’re ready to pony up, you may just have to pony up. If you want it bad enough, I figure, you’ll find a way to make it happen.
Love,
dad
2 comments:
Thank you! It is so refreshing to see someone feel the way I do. Sometimes I feel mean because I feel like, "I worked and so should you" but I really want my children to learn to be responsible and not to expect the world to give them everything on a silver planet. My Step son was a "semi-spoiled" child. Now that his parents are divorced and he is older, he doesn't get every thing he wants. He has admitted to his dad that he "In no way prepared him" for this reality. He is adjusting but it is good to see a kid admit that he appreciates things more now that he has to work for them.
We didn't do it on purpose, we just didn't have much money when you were a kid, but we've never been sorry that we didn't give you and your siblings everything you wanted. I like that you will be raising Spike with similar values and expectations.
And Grandpa and I will try very hard not to buy the pony for her!
Grandma L.
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