AGAIN AND AGAIN

Dear Spike:

Your mother and I sat in bed, two nights ago, as I dug out from under an avalanche of e-mails from people who think I should get a new job.

A small selection from their musings:

“You must be the stupidest man on Earth. ”

“You’re unethical, immoral and disgusting. ”

“Your mother is probably ashamed of you.”

Your mom read over my shoulder and winced as I typed out my responses.

“Thank you for your letter,” I replied — again and again and again and again.

“But they’re wrong,” she protested. “Why don’t you tell them how they’re wrong? How can you just sit there and let them say such horrible things to you?”

•••

Last night, a Fox News commentator named Bill O’Reilly decided I was a scum bag.

“We have no respect for him.,” O’Reilly said on his television program. “I believe this man is an ideologue... he shouldn't be working in any major newspaper.”

When I arrived at work this morning, a friend pulled me aside. “That guy is so wrong,” he said. “How can you just sit there and let him say such awful things about you on national television?”

•••

Growing up in Sunday school, I was always troubled by Jesus’ Sermon on the Mount — and by one passage in particular: “If someone strikes you on the right cheek, turn to him the left one also.”

In my mind, this verse was always tied to other parts of the sermon — “blessed are the week... blessed are the poor... blessed are the peacemakers” — parts that suggested to me that Christ wanted his followers to be wimps. And heck, that seemed to make sense. I mean, the guy Christians like to call the King of Kings didn’t exactly run roughshod over the Romans.

But all these years later, I think I finally get it.

When most people get hit, they fall. Or they cower. Or they run.

But picture someone who doesn’t do any of those things, someone who doesn’t even fight back.

Picture someone who just stands there and offers to let his attacker have another shot.

•••

It’s not always easy to stand on principle, lest of all when people are calling you names and calling you out.

Sometimes, it’s simpler just to fight back. You can say hateful things. You can make terrible allegations. You can hit back and kick back and spit back. And there may indeed be a time and a place for all of that.

But before you decide you must fight, consider who you are fighting. Consider whether you can win. Consider what you are fighting for.

And then consider whether the better option is simply to recognize that you don’t need to fight at all.

I’m not stupid. I’m not unethical, immoral or disgusting. And my mother? She likes me just fine.

And for me, this week, that has been enough. I don’t have to prove anyone is wrong about me. I’m content to know they are wrong about me.

So go ahead. Hit me again.

Love,
dad