TOUCHED YOUR LIFE

Dear Spike:

I’ve never known anyone I could trust more than my friend Matt. At various times over the past three years, he has been my coworker, my confidant, my workout partner, my coffee pal and my poker adversary.

When it came time to throw a baby shower for you, it was Matt and his fiancee, Leah, who hosted the party. When I have had to leave your mother to report from overseas, Matt has been there to offer his support and friendship. And when, a few years back, I wrote an “if you are reading this” letter to your mother, I left it in Matt’s hands to deliver to her in the event that something went badly for me.

We have a spot, on the balcony of our office building, that looks out over all of the valley. In the summers, we go there for lunch. And all year round, we meet there to talk.

Soon, I’ll be sitting there alone.

Leah will begin law school at the end of this summer. And when she goes, Matt will be leaving with her.

Not so long ago, when ours was a nation of small towns and close communities, the friends you grew up with were the friends you grew old with. And it was not uncommon, in those times, to be employed alongside the the same group of people for decades upon decades.

That served to keep friends close, but it also served to keep minds closed. And so, on balance, I suppose the way things are these days are not so bad.

Still, I will miss my friend.

I’ve done a poor job keeping in contact with the people I was close to growing up. And I’ve done a poor job keeping in contact with the people I was close to when I was in the military. Against that backdrop, I guess you could only consider it a success that I exchange frequent e-mails with some of the people with whom I attended college. Still, I could do better.

To that end, earlier this year, I rekindled a friendship that has grown cold with time. Now I am looking forward to introducing you to my very good friend Anamika when we visit California in July (she will be in transit at that time between her current State Department assignment in Sri Lanka and her next assignment in Jamaica.)

Not all of your friends need to be lifelong friends. Some will come into your life when you need them and drop out of your life at some point down the road. And that is OK.

But when you can — and even more importantly, when you feel you cannot — make a point of reaching out to those who have touched your life in important ways. Do not forget them. And do not let them forget you.

In this day and age, you may still find yourself sitting alone, sometimes. But the view does not have to be a lonely one.

Love,
dad

Dear Spike’s friends:
There are still lots of hours open in the Spikepool. Just go to the comments section under the post “About that date” and pick a date that hasn’t yet been spoken for. Full disclosure: Spike is due on June 6., but the doctor says she could come at any time.
All the cool kids are doing it.
Love,
Spike’s dad